Monday, July 7, 2025

Upasana Kamineni Konidela: Marry from Strength, Not Fear & Redefine Marriage

Upasana Kamineni Konidela has constantly advocated for better lives of women, encouraging them towards financial independence, attaining jobs and being independent in their own right. Throwing light on her progressive thought, Upasana shared her perspective of raising a new generation who redefine marriage, not just survive it. In a recent post, she talked about how marriage is a conscious choice rooted in love, emotional maturity, stability, mutual respect and affordability, and is not an obligation that succumbs to societal pressure. She encouraged women to ‘Find Your Ram’ and not fall into rushed timelines.

Upasana penned a thought-provoking piece that talks about the meaning of marriage in modern times, also shedding some light on the harsh realities of emotional abuse, toxicity, and the relentless pressure to adjust. She even shared her thoughts on encouraging women to marry from strength and not fear, and also talked about the need to teach boys to manage their emotions, set boundaries, and respect differences.

A part of her note read, “If we want to build a stronger India, we must begin by building healthier homes. Many of us are educated, empowered women are uniquely positioned to be the fulcrum of change. We’re aware. We’re connected. And we owe it to ourselves – and the generations after us – to use that privilege with purpose. Let’s encourage our women to marry from strength, not fear. No more marrying for money or status – those can be built together with the right partner, if needed. Let’s teach our boys early to manage emotions, set boundaries and respect differences. Let’s stop forcing women into timelines – and instead give them the tools and freedom to thrive, whatever their choice may be.”

It further read, “Let this be the New India where people live by choice, not compulsion – where tradition and progress coexist – where marriage is built on mutual respect, not sacrifice – where we’re proud of who we are and even prouder of who we’re becoming, together.”

In addition to sharing her own views, Upasana even shared an instance from a discussion at Harvard. “In a recent class at Harvard with Prof. Debora Spar, we explored a fundamental question: Why do women get married today? Is it for companionship? Children? Status? The truth is, women no longer need marriage to fulfill these needs.” It added, “It’s no longer about needing a man – it’s about choosing a partner who respects you and sees you as an equal,” she wrote.

Upasana Konidela’s thoughtful piece on modern-day marriage, including the core need to get married, the silent shift in progressive women, and the full thought behind ‘Finding your Ram’ instead of rushing into marriage, mirrors the evolving ideologies of independent women of modern and progressive India.

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